Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
