I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
