only if we run a train.
done.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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