I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
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How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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