So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
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I just blew my weed a kiss
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
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Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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