If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
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you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
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We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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