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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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