So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
there is another microwave in the elevator.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
