One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
