Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
