Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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