UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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