she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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