and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
