come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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