Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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