I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
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This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
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So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
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