I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize