Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
