I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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