you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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