so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
