his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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