Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
