This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
His nipple licking is glorious
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