Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
