I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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