She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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