The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
