alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
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I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
We smell like vodka and hangover
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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