so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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