I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
