i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
