...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Pants 0. Shit 1.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
