I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize