sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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