would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
