Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize