I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize