Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm getting married
To pizza
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize