every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
