Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
