I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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