i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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