she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
