Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
