i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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