He is such a slut. More and more my type.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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