Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Your penis caused this!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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