She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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