Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize