you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
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I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
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You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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