I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I didn't notice because vodka
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
