with your own penis?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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