It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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