Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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