How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
