Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
