i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize