I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
