after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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